The Send Off

Posts of dorm rooms, campus tours and babies turned into adults flood my feeds. I am not alone. My closest friends are all going through the same thing. Meanwhile, feelings of sadness, worry, chaos, and excitement scurry through me. At the same time, feelings of nostalgia are the strongest, thinking back at my curious, observant and incredibly intelligent little girl. Building her lego sets – which she disassembled to pack up her room, science creations – now her focus is on plants, marine animals, jewelry making and changing her hair color on the regular. Her plays and shows, organizing the cast and scenery all just right – skills she will apply to her new dorm room. Bossing her little sister around and the rare moment when they play nice together, these girls will miss their car rides, making fun of their parents and the comfort of knowing their sister is just in the next room. Reading, reading and more reading. So many things have not changed. She packed more books than she needs, in case she wants to give them to her new friends, always wanting to share things she loves.

She is a strong, independent, kind, loving, thoughtful young woman, who is starting the next chapter of her life learning and filling her brain with all the knowledge she can. She wants to meet new people and have new experiences and be on her own without the watchful eye and annoying questions from her mom. She knows she can tell me anything, but likely she doesn’t want to. As she grows and experiences the world she’ll spread her wings and travel and accomplish anything she sets her mind to, because that is what she does. And that is exactly what I want for her.

So often as parents we spend our time waiting until … whatever it is, until they can hold the bottle, until they are potty trained, until they entertain themselves and on and on. And now they have done all the things and here we are sending them off to do it all on their own. I never really thought about what this would feel like, now I am feeling it, and all my heart wants is to cuddle that little five year old girl with all her questions and her stack of books. I want to curl up in a comfy chair and read those books and answer her questions and watch the wonder of her mind as she grows.

Transitions are challenging and amazing. And while I might want to hold on to that little girl, I am incredibly proud of the woman she has become and can’t wait to watch how she takes on the world.